Last (last) Weakly Journal of April

Beginning of the weak:

The incessant throbbing in my head stems from a combination of being beaten into submission by a deep flu bug (that I have thrice determined via a test that is not Covid) and from keeping an eye close to the news unfolding more details every day of the plans to overthrow the country we love. America is being tested by the minority who use Orwellian Newspeak and lies to plan their next assault on democracy. Christian politicians who follow not one word of the teachings of Jesus Christ, freedom-loving “patriots” who neither want us to be free nor are people who vigorously support their country and are prepared to defend it against enemies or detractors. They are, in fact, anti-Christ sedition-planning traitors, racists, coup plotters, and thieves. (I’m hearing a Cher song in my head now.)

A guy named Joe on Twitter wrote a thread that sent a chill down to my toes and back up to my pregenual anterior cingulate cortex giving it a moment of relief because he verbalized exactly what I have been feeling/dreading. It was the most important thread I have read all year and wish to copy it here giving him full credit. It’s scary because it points to a reality that few comprehend in our country (the majority who are not the perpetrators) and before you know it, *BOOM! it will be too late.

April 25 – @DempseyTwo (Twitter)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no matter how big you think the story of January 6th is, double it. Now triple that @RepRaskin has said the @January6thCmte ‘is going to blow the roof off the House.’ It is. But this is a wee thread for those who know: I’m tired. Like you, I never thought I would use my eyes so much. I have suffered through some pretty rough days. I heard trump say ‘Read the transcripts’ so I did. Along the way, you start to learn the story. You see the picture emerge. You try to understand. As you find information, you hear on the news about polls and approval ratings and you think to yourself, they just don’t know yet. As you read the court filings, you realize these are things the government has evidence of. Why doesn’t the news tell us? You find an obscure connection and uncover a network of intertwining leaders, you begin to see patterns. Then, in the background noise, you hear from the news that JFK Jr is going to return to Deely Plaza and you think to yourself, that ain’t right. But they just don’t know yet. You begin to get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that what you are reading is so terrible, everyone needs to be aware of it because it’s an existential threat to our country. You begin to wonder if anyone is listening. If anyone is paying attention. If anyone cares.

You read that one court document, or that one local article, or that one transcript and you cry tears of anger because what is being done is on purpose, planned. You *know* the entire democracy is in jeopardy. But the Oscars are on, and you think, they just don’t know yet. Because you see it, you begin to recognize it. You can even predict it. Based on what you know, you can hypothesize. Look for the evidence. Find it or not. Reevaluate the data. What if I looked at it differently, am I being completely objective? It’s exhausting.

But when has preserving something as important as a self-governing society been easy? There are thousands of people reading transcripts to try to understand. To bring it to the people who don’t know. Why bother? Because like @RepRaskin, we know how close to fascism we are. Americans put yellow ribbons on trees. We have BBQs on Memorial Day, and we watch old war movies. This same country put their lives on hold to fight a war against fascism and end a humanitarian atrocity. We can look it up in the history books, while they’re still available.

What did it mean to have a war against the Nazis? An historian can tell you better than I, but at the core, it was to preserve democracy. Democracy and Humanity go hand in hand. If we lose one, we will surely lose the other. Will we save democracy now? Retain our humanity? For everyone who knows how big and deep the story of January 6th is, I know you’re tired. I know it hurts to know what you know. I know it’s demoralizing to hear the news tell us the party responsible for it is going to regain power in Nov. Remember, people just don’t know yet.

The truth is the truth. No matter who finds it, it will always be there. The truth doesn’t change. Raskin knows the story. They all do. It *will* blow the roof off the House. More people are beginning to know. There are times I want to give up. I lose hope but then I remember why I do it. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting to read the transcripts. Mine are mine. Whatever yours are, will they allow you to give up? Will they allow you to lose hope?

Hope in America? I thought America was hope. There are so many things we can do if we did them together in a manner that works best for everyone. That makes sense to everyone. With input from everyone. The only way to do that is to communicate. To educate. To listen. There are headstones of thousands of people whose last breath was taken in an effort to defend our democracy. To defend what the founders created for us with an instruction to form a more perfect union. We don’t honor them with movies and hotdogs but by deeds.

I’m in no position of power, leadership, or influence. Some days, I’m lucky to just have my eyes open. And when I do, I see just like you do, what is happening. And I remember, they just don’t know…yet. For everyone else, States are making it more difficult to vote. Confirm you are registered and vote in this year’s elections. November will decide if we live in a country that values truth over lies, democracy over authoritarianism, and humanity over greed. Soon we’ll all know.

End of Joe’s thread. This one hit me hard today.

It’s now the 28th and I had quite a mind-numbing, Chris Nolan “Inception” type of day today. Color it complete with many things turned upside down and inside out. Take a simple test that I have had many times before: a PCR Covid-19 test to ensure the rapid test results are correct. In San Francisco, these things have become rather fluid, or so I thought.

I went to get a drive-thru PCR test at a Walgreens I was directed to on their website the other day when I heard from a colleague that her sister had been testing negative but having cold symptoms and then tested positive from the PCR. So, I hopped online to schedule. I received a confirmation for 2:30p today. I arrived at the Walgreens on a busy corner in Daly City and no drive-up, no nada. The instructions explicitly stated, “Do not go into the Pharmacy, go to the drive-thru.”

𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖?

So, I parked to go inside and it was all locked up. A typed sign on the door read “Closed. Re-Open at 8a tomorrow.” Three other people walked up behind me and one woman walked right into the non-sliding door. An employee who was driving away pulled up behind us and pulled her mask down: “We are closed. Come back tomorrow or go to John Daly Blvd.”

I mentioned my PCR test appointment. “Go there. They will help you.” So, I shrugged it off and drove a couple of miles over to the other location in a busy mall area. I walked in and phew: This one looked more together. Alright. A slight detour. I stood in a short line for the Pharmacy counter and was prepared with my email confirmation to show along with my ID, vaccination card, and insurance card. I started to tell the first Pharmacist that I was redirected for my PCR test from the 6100 Mission store. He quickly shooed me over to a window further away from us that no one could see. “They will take care of you. Next customer.”

I walked over to a window with a small sign: Covid Test and Vaccination. A nice young Pharmacist took all of the cards and looked carefully at my email confirmation for a PCR test which I had stated aloud upon arrival at the window. He then proceeded to hand me a clipboard with a long-form to fill out. I told him, again, that I’m here for a test as I’m already twice vaccinated and twice boosted.

“Yes, all good. Fill out the form and have it ready when they call you.” ᕼᗰᗰᗰ. ᔕᗴᗴᗰᔕ Oᗪᗪ, I thought to myself, yet I dutifully went and filled out the same form I had when I got my second booster at another Walgreens a couple of weeks back. Then the line on the form: 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗏𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖺𝗒 and it was already typed in as Pfizer-Biontech. I circled it and wrote: 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕒 ℙℂℝ 𝕥𝕖𝕤𝕥. I answered the 20 health questions and signed it.

I then sat and waited for 25-minutes as the others who were clearly receiving vaccinations were called in one after the other slowly. My name was finally called and I brought the form to the counter, “Hi, I‘m here for a PCR test. I just want to be sure that you are not planning…” I was interrupted with a perplexed look by the 3rd Pharmacist I had been called by: “Wait. We don’t administer PCR tests here.” I looked at her and blinked. “But I was sent here by the store that closed and both the Pharmacists I have interacted with before you didn’t say that.”

She asked me to wait a moment. She turned around and another Pharmacist who had approached (the 4th one I had seen—they were very busy) and asked if the Mission store sent over PCR tests. The other one confirmed that they don’t have them and that they don’t do PCR tests at that location.

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`) 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕘𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕗!

𝖨𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗉𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾: Wᴇʟʟ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍs, ᴛʜᴇʏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴡᴇ’ʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ʀɪɢʜᴛ? ɪᴛ’s ᴏɴʟʏ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴡᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡᴀs ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ.

Here’s to a 🅓🅐🅝🅐 🅙🅐🅔 waking dream state on 4/28 ndsı̣pǝ poʍu.

About danaj33

writer * department chair of Broadcast Electronic Media Arts and audio faculty at City College of San Francisco * music composer and producer * always in discovery mode, learning, living, loving, and laughing.
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